Investigative Review:
Velveeta Cheesy Skillets: Nacho Supreme

Rating: 2

Cost:  ~$3.00

Location: Any Grocery Store

Customized: No

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This review is part of a new intermittent feature for this blog. Certain Nacho related goods are available outside of restaurants, and I felt it was my duty to review them as well… for the good of the public. Most of you have likely seen the awful Velveeta Cheesy Skillet ads, you know, the one with the date rapist “teaching” people how to make a meal that is only a hair more complicated than pop tarts. Anyhow, while rooting through the grocery aisle I found that the Cheesy Skillets line included a Nacho Supreme flavor. My curiosity was piqued in the same way as the thought of watching a 1950’s horror film. 

The instructions are simple enough, Brown a pound of ground beef and add all the ingredients in the package: A spice pack, A pack of Velveeta, pack of salsa, and a pack of pasta. In the end, it takes maybe 10 minutes to make. The mass ends up looking nothing like the gorgeous image on the package, but at least it doesn’t look disgusting. For some reason the people at Kraft seem to think that nachos are made with cooked, square-like pasta. Its obvious from the package that this has nothing to do with nachos. Its as close to nachos as a Pizza flavored microwave burrito is to slice of deep dish from a reputable shop.

So whats the verdict? Well it ain’t nachos. That’s the short version. Whats the long version? It didn’t taste bad at all. It tasted like hamburger helper with nacho/taco spice put into it, which isn’t a bad thing at all. After a few fork fulls, I decided to start dipping tortilla chips into it, which I found to be a much more satisfying and Nacho-like experience. It is far closer to a meat heavy queso than nachos. For those interested in trying, I would recommend ignoring the pasta during the cooking segment, and then just dump the result over a plate of chips. This would be a good way to get some decent white trash nachos!